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Relationship Lost Its Spark?

A ... ... the years of reading ... books, its become obvious to me that I rarely findone that I could get my Dad, or most other men, to read. Theyre just not written in away th

A Mechanical Metaphor

Over the years of reading self-help books, its become obvious to me that I rarely find
one that I could get my Dad, or most other men, to read. Theyre just not written in a
way that men can relate to. Interestingly, Ive noticed that computer and other gadget
companies are beginning to catch on to this fact. When we unwrap our latest piece of
high-tech gadgetry, we now have a choice to opt for the Quick Start Guide or plough
our way through the entire manual. For most of us men, thats a no brainer. We want
to play with the toy, not find out how to build it.

My Dad is a mechanic and he taught me that given a few basic tools and a decent skill
set most things can be fixed. When it comes to engines he is a genius. He can tell you
whats wrong with your car by just listening to it. His skill is so fine-tuned; he can
diagnose your car trouble over the phone. Grown men used to bring their cars over to
him in tears, convinced this was finally the end. My Dad would take it to bits, figure
out if a fuel line was blocked, determine if there was too much friction in one area, or
if there was not enough connection in another. Then hed put it back together and just
like magic, the car would run again. To my father engines were predictable; he knew
what to look for.

Take the spark plug. If it stops sparking, your engine stops running and your wheels
stop turning. To a mechanic, its very predictable that your spark plugs will last only a
certain amount of miles and then need replacing. So given that a spark plug will cost
you about 3.50 (lets not talk about the labour costs), how many of you would
divorce your car at this point? No you wouldnt, because you understand that your car
is a sizable investment.

For some reason, we fail to apply the same logic to our relationships. People start
talking about how theyve lost the spark or theyve got communication issues as
reasons to leave. We forget all the time and energy invested in getting to this point
and all we can think about is running for the hills. Its worth noting at this point that
leaving happens on many levels and even the subtle withdrawals damage our
relationships. I know this because Ive done it myself. In fact, given my own wiring
Im still prone to want to bolt when it gets rough.

This power struggle is a totally predictable piece of relating with your loved one. Its
the time when Mr. or Mrs. Perfect suddenly becomes one of your parents or an
ex-partner. For some complicated, yet unavoidable reason, this is always going to
happen. The best news is that the only way out is through.

Sometimes we just need some basic tools and good skills. You can visit my website
for suggestions of great books to get you up to speed.
http://www.thegreatrelationshipcoach.com/stuff.htm

I guarantee that a relationship filled with romance and passion is more fun than most
gadgets. And remember, if youre going to get expert help make sure you find
someone who believes in fixing the relationship you are in. There are plenty of
cowboys all to ready to sell you a new car.

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